Corporate names on sports venues are dumb, we have suggestions

Corporate names on sports venues are dumb, we have suggestions

Photo: Getty Images

Sick of corporate names on your sports stadiums and arenas? So are we. So, let’s fix it, and get the names of all these places right, once and for all.

Anaheim Ducks: Go back to calling it The Pond. Or just continue to call it that.

Arizona Cardinals: Perhaps if they called it Pat Tillman Stadium, there would be more opportunities to explain Tillman’s story and what he was really about, instead of constantly bringing up his legacy as… OK, that won’t work at all, but it’s better than naming a stadium after an insurance company.

Arizona Diamondbacks: It’s too bad that the “BOB” nickname phased out when a different bank name went on the building, but The Oasis would be a neat reference to the ballpark’s signature feature, the right field swimming pool.

Atlanta Baseball Team: It would be egregious to try to hide from the white flight drive of the team moving from the city to the outskirts by putting Hank Aaron’s name on the stadium. No thank you. Cobb County Park is what this ought to be.

Atlanta Falcons: They can’t name the retractable roof stadium after the body part it looks like, so for the Georgia Dome’s replacement, Georgia International Stadium gives a nod to Georgia International Plaza right outside.

Atlanta Hawks: Take a cue from the home team’s extremely popular alternate jerseys honoring Martin Luther King, and name the whole building after him, Martin Luther King Arena.

Baltimore Ravens: Back to Ravens Stadium at Camden Yards, the original name.

Boston Bruins and Celtics: Barely even have to change anything from the bought-and-paid-for name to what everyone calls it anyway, The Garden.

Brooklyn Nets: A very easy one, because of the arena’s location and the name of the real estate project that building it was part of: Atlantic Yards.

Buffalo Bills: One of the first stadiums to have naming rights sold, back in 1973, because the county legislature approved it over Ralph Wilson’s offer to pay to name the place for the Bills, maybe now it can be Buffalo Bills Stadium as Wilson, later the stadium’s namesake himself, wanted.

Buffalo Sabres: During construction, the place was called Crossroads Arena. Maybe it’ll eventually be named after Crossroads Bank. That sounds like a bank name.

Calgary Flames: Just say The Saddledome, like everybody else who isn’t paid by the bank that put its name on the place.

Carolina Hurricanes: The original name, Raleigh Entertainment & Sports Arena, was a mouthful. Not that the corporate name is better, but also not good. As the home of N.C. State basketball, too, and because of his influence in getting it built and the man’s legacy, Jim Valvano Arena would be great.

Carolina Panthers: It might not be super creative, just basing it on the address, but Mint Street Stadium sounds pretty good.

Charlotte Hornets: One of the most irksome current corporate names is the Spectrum Center, because the non-corporate named Spectrum was a different city’s landmark for years. This is not Philadelphia. But it’s already nicknamed The Hive so this is easy enough.

Chicago Bulls and hockey: Sometimes, nicknames can carry over from one building to another, and they still call it The Madhouse On Madison, which the predecessor to the current facility, Chicago Stadium, was also called.

Chicago Cubs: Can we make an exception because it’s been Wrigley Field for so long, and the area around it is called Wrigleyville, and it’s just a gum company? We could, but we could also call it The Friendly Confines.

Chicago White Sox: It’s Sox Park. It’s always been Sox Park. Even when it was Comiskey.

Cincinnati Reds: Make it Riverfront Park, since it replaced Riverfront Stadium, in the same spot.

Cleveland Browns: Maybe it’s too far to actually call the stadium The Factory of Sadness, but before they slapped a company’s name on it, Cleveland Browns Stadium was fine.

Cleveland Cavaliers: Nobody needs to give Dan Gilbert free advertising for his other ventures. Gund Arena it is, at its opening and forever.

Cleveland Guardians: It was Jacobs Field for 14 years, and that’s what it should forever be called.

Colorado Avalanche and Denver Nuggets: One way to get to games is to take the RTD light rail to Ball Arena-Elitch Gardens station, the latter portion referencing an amusement park that’s not the original Elitch Gardens, but who cares about that when there also have been multiple Madison Square Gardens over time? The park is soon going to have to move, so might as well rename the arena, too. Too bad, because Elitch Gardens itself would be a cool name for an arena, but River Mile Center will do.

Colorado Rockies: The reason the Rockies’ mascot is a purple dinosaur is because fossils were discovered during the construction of what ought to be called Jurassic Park. How do you not change the entire identity of the franchise after discovering dinosaur bones while building the stadium? C’mon.

Dallas Cowboys: The rule is generally not to name things after living people, but it’s not necessarily an honorific in this case, more of a gawk at one man’s desire to use his money to prove something. Anyway, JerryWorld is what we already call it.

Dallas Mavericks and Stars: The arena’s address is 2500 Victory Avenue, in the Victory Park development, and is served by Trinity Railway Express and Dallas Area Rapid Transit at Victory Station. Victory Arena is super easy, or just call it The Vic.

Denver Broncos: They’ve called it a few different things “at Mile High” now, when Mile High alone would be perfectly fine.

Detroit Lions: It would be cool if each of the three Detroit sports facilities had the name of one of the Big Three car manufacturers, but the other two don’t, so we can’t let this one slide, and the Motor City Dome has a good ring to it.

Detroit Pistons and Red Wings: They’ve had great arena names in and around Detroit over the years. The Olympia. Joe Louis Arena. The Palace of Auburn Hills. Now they’ve got a pizza chain naming the arena, a bad choice when Gordie Howe Arena was suggested and available, but not a choice that the public must abide by.

Detroit Tigers: There was only one Mr. Tiger, and a great tribute would be if Al Kaline Park were where Detroit played its baseball.

Edmonton Oilers: If it weren’t for naming an arena after a living person being a fraught concept, this would be pretty easy. This arena replaced the Northlands Coliseum, so Northlands Place would be solid.

Florida Panthers: The arena is right on the edge of the Everglades, literally across the highway. Everything else on the building’s side of the road — including the road — has a similar name, and Sawgrass Center would be just fine.

Golden State Warriors: The only thing between the new arena in San Francisco and the water is Bay Front Park. But that’s not so inspiring. How about what’s just south of the arena, Bay Front Mariposa Park? There’s also Mariposa Park another block away. Mariposa Center it is.

Houston Astros: Yes, it’s a corporation’s name, but a defunct one, and calling it Enron Field would serve as a reminder of both the enormous corporate fraud that we should all be more wary of, and the Astros having won their only World Series by being a bunch of cheating cheaters.

Houston Rockets: It’s too bad that it isn’t just The Summit renamed, because The Summit was a fantastic name, but call it Root Memorial Center to go with the Root Memorial Square park across the street.

Houston Texans: It’s next to the Astrodome and dwarfs the Astrodome, so how about the Enormo Dome? This stadium goes to 11.

Indianapolis Colts: Having replaced the Hoosier Dome, Hoosier Stadium would be good for stripping away the corporate name.

Indiana Pacers: The building is on its third corporate name but has always had the same basic name, and The Fieldhouse is what it should simply be.

Jacksonville Jaguars: Short of naming the stadium after the late Jaguars superfan Jason Mendoza, Jacksonville Municipal Stadium was and is fine.

Las Vegas Raiders: Take the famous fan section and give the whole place The Black Hole name, because, have you seen a picture of this stadium?

Los Angeles Chargers and Rams: There was nothing wrong with Hollywood Park as the name for the old racetrack on the site, other than it being in Inglewood, not Hollywood, but also people in L.A. have known where Hollywood Park is for generations.

Los Angeles Clippers, Kings, and Lakers: Olympic Boulevard is only a block away, Los Angeles is a multi-time Olympic host, and when the Olympics come back in 2028, they’re not going to be calling it by its new and stupid name, so just go with the Olympic Center.

Memphis Grizzlies: The arena is on the most famous street in the city, maybe the entire state. Use that! Instead of a shipping company, make it the Beale Street Forum. Or, can we call it The Grindhouse forever?

Miami Dolphins: It’s gone through a lot of names, but it’s still the same Joe Robbie Stadium that’s been there since 1987.

Miami Heat: The arena is currently named after a cryptocurrency exchange, so that probably won’t last. It’s right on the water, along a scenic path that should be the pride of Miami. Call it the Baywalk Arena.

Miami Marlins: It opened as Marlins Park, and one way to absolutely make sure we won’t use a corporate name is to insist on some stupid mid-word capitalization. No.

Milwaukee Brewers: This is where Hank Aaron Stadium ought to be, the city where the Hammer was MVP, the city where he hit more than half his career home runs, and the city that might otherwise name its ballpark, if not for corporate names, after Bud Selig.

Milwaukee Bucks: Cursed with a truly stupid corporate name, there’s already a nickname in use, paying homage to Milwaukee’s area code: the Four-One-Forum.

Minnesota Timberwolves: You knew one of the Twin Cities facilities was going this way, and this is the one: Prince Center.

Minnesota Twins: You know who would have loved hitting in this ballpark? Give him a nod and call it Harmon Killebrew Field?

Minnesota Vikings: The state and the Audubon Society asked for construction plans to be changed to include less transparent glass. The Vikings refused to do that, and now The Avian Grindhouse is the most deadly building in Minneapolis for the feathered set.

Minnesota Wild: They’ll probably just call it The X forever, but consider this: the attached convention center is called RiverCentre, so the arena could be RiverCentre Center. Think about it, St. Paul.

Montreal Canadiens: So many legends of the Habs are beloved forever in Montreal, but Centre Jean Béliveau just feels right.

Nashville Predators: If someone wants to call it The Hockey Tonk, that would be just fine, but Music Row Arena is a little more multi-purpose.

New England Patriots: The stadium is surrounded by Patriot Place, an enormous shopping complex that also is a fine stadium name.

New Jersey Devils: While The Rock is a nickname based on the corporate partner’s logo, it’s also what people are going to call it forever, regardless of whether the sponsorship remains.

New Orleans Pelicans: Of all the corporate names, Smoothie King Center is one of the most hilarious, but since we’re getting away from all that, King Center would be a fine nod to Mardi Gras King Cake.

New York Giants and Jets: Everybody calls it The Meadowlands anyway, which, better for the Jets than when they played at Giants Stadium.

New York Islanders: If they’d built it across the highway, the new arena would have been in Queens, not on Long Island despite geographically still being on Long Island, which we all learned was a big deal to everyone when they played in Brooklyn (among other problems with that arena for hockey). They need to have that county pride in the building name, so the team that once played at Nassau Coliseum can now play at Nassau Arena.

New York Mets: Honestly, I still say Shea half the time when I say I’m going there, because it’s at the same place. Seaver Field would be appropriate to differentiate the different ballparks, but Shea Field, also fine.

Oklahoma City Thunder: In between corporate names, Oklahoma City Arena was boring but plenty effective.

Orlando Magic: It was fun back in the day when the Magic played at the “O-rena,” but they’re in a new building now, their second straight named after a famous multi-level marketing scheme. No thanks. We’ll just go with the neighborhood where that building is and call it Paramore Arena, not to be confused with the Tennessee rock band, though they should definitely do a show there.

Ottawa Senators: The original name of the building was The Palladium, go back to that.

Philadelphia Eagles: The only thing better than Philly Special Field would be Also In That Same Super Bowl Tom Brady Was Wide Open And Totally Dropped It Park, but that other one is way too long.

Philadelphia Flyers and 76ers: They’re currently on their fourth bank name for the arena, and it’s the second one that becomes the perfect fit when shortened down to a nickname. The FU Center it was from 1998-2003, and the FU Center it will be for as long as it’s there.

Philadelphia Phillies: The park was built with Ashburn Alley in center field, and Richie Ashburn’s longtime broadcast partner would be a great namesake for Harry Kalas Park, celebrating the one Philadelphia sports icon who could never get booed.

Phoenix Suns: We’re now on the fourth different corporate name for this building, which in between sponsorships was known as PHX Arena and Phoenix Suns Arena. Boring, sure, but effective enough.

Pittsburgh Penguins: Why couldn’t they have built it in an igloo shape like the old Civic Arena? But as a more rectangular successor, The Icebox would work.

Pittsburgh Pirates: Since they moved a little bit east from where Three Rivers Stadium was, it should be Allegheny Stadium for the one river that the park is situated upon. Or Roberto Clemente Park to go with the bridge that leads to it and honor the greatest man in Pirates history.

Pittsburgh Steelers: It could be Three Rivers Field after Three Rivers Stadium was there, but even more fun would be Confluence Field.

Portland Trail Blazers: It’s still the Rose Garden, no matter what the signs on the building now say.

Sacramento Kings: The arena in California’s capital city is officially on David J. Stern Walk, such that the actual street it’s on doesn’t have to be used. Can you imagine the Kings playing literally on L Street? Well, it would mesh with most of their existence, but so long as they’re honoring the former commissioner who helped keep the team in town, Stern Memorial Center would be fitting.

San Antonio Spurs: They’ve already announced that the phone company isn’t renewing its naming rights deal, a perfect opportunity to start calling the place something new. They’re going to have to rename the street that the arena is on, too, because it’s now named after the arena, so why not go with what’s across the way, a golf course that could lend its name to Willow Springs Center.

San Diego Padres: They named the street outside after him, but Tony Gwynn Park is what it ought to be.

San Francisco 49ers: Time to be honest that Santa Clara Stadium is where the San Francisco team plays.

San Francisco Giants: Really, McCovey Cove is such a cool name, it should be what they call the whole park, not just the waterway over the right field wall.

San Jose Sharks: It’s the Shark Tank. Always has been. Always will be.

Seattle Mariners: A tricky one because it’s always had a corporate name and everyone in franchise history worth naming a stadium after is still alive. But if you remember the golden age of the Mariners, perhaps you remember “SoDo Mojo,” and SoDo Stadium would be reflective of the place where the ballpark is, what a concept.

Seattle Seahawks: Yes, the Sounders also play there, but The Hawks Nest is right there and there’s no reason to stray from such brilliance.

St. Louis Blues: When the arena opened, it was named Kiel Center after St. Louis’ first three-term mayor. Do you even know what it’s called now without looking?

St. Louis Cardinals: Technically, Busch Stadium is not a corporate name, because August Busch wanted to name the previous iteration “Budweiser Stadium,” but was denied permission because — get this — league rules prohibited naming a stadium after booze. So, he named it after himself, and then went back to the brewery and started making Busch beer.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: It’s got to be The Pirate Ship. Got to be.

Tampa Bay Lightning: The area of the city where the arena sits, as well as the name of its street, is descriptive and sounds smooth. Channelside Arena it is.

Tampa Bay Rays: It’s a dump, for sure, but it would be so much less widely despised if they’d kept ThunderDome as the name.

Tennessee Titans: There was nothing wrong with The Coliseum, which actually came after an initial corporate name.

Texas Rangers: So far, this stadium has hosted a World Series that the home team wasn’t in, and the Rangers have been no-hit twice there. Also, the place looks like either an airplane hangar or a home improvement store. There’s not a ton to work wi—BIG TEX, and it’s gotta be all caps.

Toronto Blue Jays: You can slap a corporate name on SkyDome, but that doesn’t mean anybody has to call it that.

Toronto Maple Leafs and Raptors: The arena includes some of the original building at the site, the Postal Delivery Building. Postal Place would honor this legacy, as well as Canada’s quirky usage of “Place” for arena names.

Utah Jazz: They called it Salt Lake Ice Center for the 2002 Olympics, and that makes just as much sense for a basketball arena as the basketball team being called the Utah Jazz, so lean into it.

Vancouver Canucks: The nickname The Garage holds over from the building’s original sponsor, which, sure, why not stay with that.

Vegas Golden Knights: Did you know that most of the Las Vegas Strip, including the arena, is really in the unincorporated town of Paradise, Nevada, because casino owners wanted to avoid Las Vegas municipal taxes and got Clark County to give them town status. It’s still not really Las Vegas, except for mailing addresses. Anyway, Paradise Arena would be truthful and sound neat.

Washington Capitals and Wizards: The arena is across the street from the National Portrait Gallery, which lends its name to the mall and the Metro station that everyone uses to get there, which also makes a fine arena name: Gallery Place.

Washington Football Team: Remember when Washington’s team owner wasn’t one of the grossest people ever in the sports world, but just a weird old guy who got the post office to name the ZIP code for the stadium after his sons? That was fun, and we should commemorate it with Raljon Field.

Winnipeg Jets: Is it still a corporate name if the place is out of business? The arena is on the site of the former Eaton’s department store, which went out of business at the turn of the century, but was a landmark in multiple Canadian cities. Eaton Centre is one of the main shopping locales in Toronto, and it can be the name of this arena because Canada is forever down with that kind of redundancy — see the number of places named Rogers and Scotiabank.

Original source here

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About the Author

Anthony Barnett
Anthony is the author of the Science & Technology section of ANH.