Dennis Quaid as Stan Kroenke will haunt your dreams

Dennis Quaid as Stan Kroenke will haunt your dreams

Um ... YIKES.

Screenshot: Rams

The annoying after effect of the Los Angeles Rams winning the Super Bowl is we have to pretend that everything they do is cute or cool. Matthew Stafford’s appearance in an AT&T commercial was the first ad I can remember seeing him in, and now I have to laugh at him winking at the camera until the NBA Playoffs end in June?

The guy was barely able to carry the NFL version of a super team to the Super Bowl, and now he’s supposed to carry a cellphone campaign? He didn’t even win the game’s MVP. How is he supposed to become instantly recognizable if he never told the masses he’s going to Disneyland?

I’ve become increasingly less irritated by commercials with the invention of smartphones, but old pet peeves are extremely hard to shake. However, one image that I’ll never block out of my mind is Dennis Quaid’s Stan Kroenke mustache from this “trailer” for the Rams draft.

There are a couple of enjoyable aspects from the video, which I can only assume was shot, directed, and edited by the team’s front office because they have no picks in the first two rounds or Top 100.

The only funny part was the Celine Dion joke when Tyrese was doing his best pre-heist planning banter. It was straight out of a “Fast and Furious” movie, and you’ll be hard pressed to find a flaw in that franchise or its best source of comedic relief.

The second redeemable quality is… uhh… production value? The makeup artist who transformed Quaid into Kroenke should win an Oscar and then be banished from Hollywood. I get Scott Eastwood’s appearance; one can only coast off the fumes of their father’s acting career for so long before being forced to act in fake movie trailers.

But Quaid? He’s Mr. Sports Movie. Does the Rookie, “Cap” from Any Given Sunday, and Dick Vermeil in the upcoming film American Underdog (the Kurt Warner story) know that he’s portraying a real-life villain?

The Rams won the Super Bowl, and people still only care about the team as much as Stafford cared about that photographer who fell off the stage directly in front of him and broke her back during the title parade. Nothing says desperate like a multimillion dollar trailer for a team that’s not drafting until pick No. 104.

And, sorry LA fans, but the Rams aren’t stealing the draft. The only thing they’re taking is another victory lap. These kinds of charades are reserved for bottom feeders looking to keep their fans from jumping ship, but I guess when you don’t have a following, resorting to Clippers-like tactics makes sense.

The franchise is on its way to becoming greater than the Chargers more successful sibling, so act like it, and not like some two-bit team trying to milk a few extra atta boys from a Super Bowl run.

At least let the success breathe for a few decades before donning Sean McVay makeup and trying to make Kelly Stafford likable.

Original source here

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About the Author

Anthony Barnett
Anthony is the author of the Science & Technology section of ANH.