We’re now into the Premier League fan’s favorite time of year and it’s symmetrical that it lines up with a child’s favorite time of year, given both’s penchant for inexplicable screaming and crying. It’s holiday time, which means children and fans alike don’t have to do anything but sit around, never put on hard pants, stuff their face, and play with their favorite toys. In our case, it’s on the couch watching Premier League soccer, which will throw every game possible at us starting on Thursday.
And the Holiday Ho Down Of Footy very well might be a car crash. It starts next Saturday when Liverpool and Arsenal do the No. 1 vs. No. 2 thing at Anfield. Liverpool will also have to navigate Newcastle on New Year’s Day. Arsenal have squirrely looking dates against West Ham and away to Fulham. City have to head off to the Middle East for the Club World Cup and will return to what is now no free lunch at Everton. Aston Villa probably have the easiest slate, with Uniteds Sheffield and Manchester, followed by Burnley. Yes, Virginia, we could enter 2024 with Aston Villa on top of the league.
What went down this weekend to set us up for the demolition derby? Let’s run through it.
5. Arsenal show the pedigree that they showed last year
We won’t really know if there’s something different about Arsenal’s attitude or fortitude or any other kind of ‘tude until the spring. They looked pretty saucy this time last year, too, and then were spitting out coolant and oil come April. The middle of the season, we know they got.
Still, they absolutely smothered Brighton on Sunday, though admittedly Brighton haven’t quite figured out the Thursday-Sunday schedule that their Europa League participation requires.
But Brighton are one of the slicker outfits around, with a system built on drawing teams toward them as close to their own goal as they can before they pass right through and around you. And Arsenal definitely were drawn to press Brighton as high up the field as they could. They just didn’t get passed through or around.
Brighton didn’t have a shot in the first half. Not one on-target, not one that hit the Tube station or Troopz. Arsenal were one of the few teams to walk into the trap that Brighton set and ended up the predator instead of the prey.
Arsenal could get that high up the field without getting stung thanks to their centerbacks, William Saliba and Gabriel, being able to press up to the halfway line or beyond without worrying about the space behind them, because they’re just that quick. Brighton wingers Simon Adringa and Kaoru Mitoma couldn’t burn anyone out wide because Arsenal’s midfield smothered anyone who might have gotten them the ball. That happens when a team has Declan Rice to Tasmanian Devil his way all over the field.
Here’s a good representation of the whole day:
Arsenal may still be susceptible to an injury to Saliba. Maybe they can’t live without Rice, though he never gets hurt. But right now, they look like they have the most things nailed down of the contenders.
We should also make note of this Lewis Dunk pass, though, after we showcased him getting one in the nards, in the interest of fairness.
4. Liverpool’s warts become too much
It’s actually rather impressive that Liverpool had topped the table heading into the weekend, because it’s hard to remember the last time they played really well. They were awful against Crystal Palace for over three-quarters of the game and two-minute offense-d their way to three points. They really struggled to put Sheffield United away. They had to miracle their way past Fulham at home because their defense was non-existent. They should have been put to the sword by Man City but hung around long enough to allow a moment of genius from Trent Alexander-Arnold to get them a draw. So, the 3-0 win over Brentford a month ago? Maybe?
They’ve clearly struggled with deep, low blocks, which Manchester United realized was about their only option for Sunday’s match. Luton was able to get a draw doing it, Sheffield United nearly did.
The lopsided nature of Liverpool’s attack is a problem. With TAA moving into midfield, Mo Salah either gets isolated as winger or leaves the entire right side abandoned. That’s why the first half saw him and Dominik Szoboszlai putting on some sort of drunken puppet show trying to link up out wide on the right. But Szoboszlai moving out wide left Liverpool a little short in the middle in attack, especially with Ryan Gravernback’s tendency to dribble himself into a dumpster. With teams so deep, Darwin Nunez doesn’t have enough nous yet to operate in tight spaces. Luis Diaz hasn’t really been Luis Diaz this season, though it’s understandable why.
Liverpool’s attack looked better when Joe Gomez was brought on to play right-back with TAA moving to midfield full-time, giving them width on both sides, but most of it left Gomez being the one getting the shots. Which is certainly an abstract plan, considering Gomez has never scored. Ever. For anyone.
What will really scare Liverpool fans is that Arsenal are a much better defensive team than United, and they actually come with anything resembling a threat going forward. Arsenal aren’t going to simply sit in, so there should be more space. But Liverpool will have to play well in order to take advantage. And it’s been a while.
3. Villa and Brentford have the best feud
If there are two players you’d pick to have a multi-incident feud with each other in a match, it would be Villa keeper Emi Martinez and Brentford’s Neal Maupay. They are the very definition of (two materials that make for a homemade explosive that I can’t Google because they’ve been waiting to come for me). Martinez is the biggest nutter playing in goal in the Premier League, who just last week was revving up the Villa crowd with blood running down his face to get over the line against Arsenal. Maupay is probably best described as soccer’s Brad Marchand, only if Brad Marchand didn’t know how to use a hockey stick.
So…
Hang it in the Louvre.
Anyway, Villa actually won away from home, which has been rare for them, coming from 1-0 down to win 2-1. Ollie Watkins bagged the winner, and footy really needs more of players picking out certain fans to stick it to:
2. The best red card ever
What made Raul Jimenez’s red card so hilarious was the story he was clearly trying to sell about it before VAR quickly and rightly told the ref, “Yo, this dude’s gotta go.”
Jimenez’s case, as far as anyone can tell, is that the ball was bouncing and he simply misjudged the bounce. Except the replay shows that he misjudged the bounce by some two feet. Either he’s got vision issues, is the clumsiest human alive or he just decided he was going to get one in on Sean Longstaff. You know it’s bad when VAR only needed a matter of seconds to decide to send someone off, which usually takes the length of a Shakesperian act or two.
1. Tackle of the season
It’s all going well for Everton, who racked up another away victory, have rubbed out that 10-point penalty now and are getting free and clear from the relegation zone. A 2-0 victory over Burnley is still on the level of marking one’s free spot on the Bingo card, but after the season Everton have had, they’re not choosy.
And it contained maybe the best tackle or interception of the season from Ben Godfrey, when the game was still kind of in doubt:
Programming note: I’m off for the holidays, so I’ll return after the new year to sum up the entire holiday period as best I can through very blurry eyes.
Follow Sam on Twitter @Felsgate and on Bluesky @felsgate.bsky.social
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