IDIOT OF THE MONTH: Annex a history book, you dummies

IDIOT OF THE MONTH: Annex a history book, you dummies

1. Jonathan Allen

Illustration: Getty Images

If you find yourself lamenting the state of education in the United States of America, you’ll be thrilled with February’s IDIOT OF THE MONTH, Jonathan Allen, who definitely should not do another “Ask Me Anything” on Twitter any time soon.

You see, when asked by a Twitter user what three famous people he’d like to have dinner with, the Washington Commanders’ defensive tackle decided to show his entire ass by answering, “My grandad, Hitler, and Micheal (sic) Jackson.”

I’ll give you a moment to process.

Besides the fact that Michael Jackson spent his entire life trying NOT to interact with the public, you have to appreciate the effort of trying to slide Hitler in there as if wanting to have dinner with one of the world’s all-time mass murderers is something normal people aspire to. When called out by other Twitter users, Allen replied that Hitler was a “military genius,” and explained that he loves “military tactics,’ but continued that he’d “honestly want to pick his brain as to why he did what he did. I’m also assuming all the people I’ve chosen have to answer my questions honestly.”

It seems Allen is ALSO assuming that his three choices have to come to dinner, because with Hitler refusing to shake Jesse Owens’ hand at the 1936 Olympics, it seems unlikely he’d come to dinner with Allen, much less feel the need to explain himself to anyone not a member of Hitler’s myth of an Aryan race.

Setting aside the obvious that Hitler was a genocidal maniac who was hopped up on cocaine and crystal meth most of the time, there are some major problems with Allen’s reasoning.

I’m not sure what they’re teaching kids in school these days, but I can assure you, as someone who watches copious amounts of WWII documentaries, that Hiter was no “military genius.” His “tactics” consisted of promising not to do something and then immediately turning around and doing it (see, e.g. Poland, Czechoslovakia, and Russia), deciding it was a good idea to invade Russia in the middle of winter (that didn’t really work out), and being hilariously misled as to where the allied invasion would come ashore on D-Day (Hitler thought it would be at Calais). He also kept his soldiers chockablock full of methamphetamines.

And does Allen really think there’s any explanation Hitler could give for sending millions of Jews (and other, “lesser” people) to the gas chambers that would somehow explain the madness? Make it understandable? Justifiable?

Whew, Jonathan Allen. Pick up a history book and sit the rest of this one out.

Original source here

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About the Author

Anthony Barnett
Anthony is the author of the Science & Technology section of ANH.