The Champions League group stage spent most of its time getting maligned, some of that in bad faith from the biggest clubs who just wanted to mold the competition to their whims. But their main argument held a lot of water, which was that it lacked drama or suspense, as for the most part the top clubs in Pot 1 would stroll through pretty much unmolested into the knockout stages while still having to play matches in backwaters (to them) in Denmark or Belgium or Croatia or occasionally Moldova.
That doesn’t mean the group stage didn’t have its charms – its rhythm, its sensical format and clean presentation. While it might not have had all the drama, it still had more than enough to make it all seem worth it. The group stage may be buying the farm now (more on that in a bit), but it went down how we all can hope to: Guns blazing, reminding everyone what it was capable of, and what we’ll miss.
Most of Matchday 6’s theater-on-its-deathbed was provided on Wednesday in Group F, which was thought of as the Group of Death when the draw was made all the way back in September. This kind of excitement is built on what’s going on in two different places, with fans and teams alike waiting for news from another stadium hundreds of miles away, and how it affects what’s going on the field in front of them. Which is what Group F provided.
Heading into the night, only Borussia Dortmund had booked their place in the last 16, itself a story in that their Bundesliga season has been wonky as all get out, they can’t really defend anyone and had just lost their best player from last season (Jude Bellingham). They were widely picked to finish dead-ass last in the group and ended up winning it.
That left PSG, AC Milan and Newcastle all trying to scramble the second qualification spot (while PSG could still win the group), all trying to avoid being dumped out of Europe altogether, and all not really sure what to make of being given the consolation of a Europa League playoff-round spot. And the permutations meant that every goal would reshuffle who was lined up for what, exactly what you want on the last day of a group stage.
The two settings certainly helped, as a more raucous atmosphere than either St. James’ Park or the Westfalenstadion in Dortmund. The baying Geordies would never let a flagging Newcastle team let down and Dortmund’s habit of doing everything in the most bonkers fashion possible meant that we would get two matches to bounce between that would be played at video game pace. Especially in Newcastle, where a draw wouldn’t help either the home team or Milan, so they both had to go for it.
And it didn’t take long for the action to get to a meth level. Even though Dortmund only needed a draw to win the group and had already qualified, their solution to fixing their leaky defense seems to be just tossing it in the deep end and waiting for it to learn to swim. They still pushed their fullbacks insanely high with barely any midfield protection, leaving their two slow centerbacks to deal with Kylian Mbappe and Bradley Barcola.
So within in a quarter of an hour we got Kang-in Lee missing from here:
And than Niklas Sule somehow preventing a Mbappe goal with this:
An even better angle:
Dortmund also fashioned their own chances, mostly down PSG’s left, with the two teams combining for 15 shots in the first half. It was sent into overdrive about half an hour in when news filtered in that Newcastle had scored. And, of course, that goal had to be a banger:
Which meant that Newcastle were going through, PSG were headed to the Europa League and Milan were out. Which only souped up PSG’s attack more, which also left them even more open defensively. With Milan also having to chase the match, we had simultaneous adrenaline rushes.
It only got amped up early in the second half when Dortmund took the lead. PSG were at panic stations, which meant it was Mbappe time and he set up their equalizer just five minutes later:
That goal didn’t mean much at the moment, with Newcastle winning, PSG were still headed out. But a couple minutes later, Christian Pulisic scored for Milan, putting PSG back in the second spot, Newcastle in the Europa League and Milan still out of everything. And again, a draw didn’t do anything for either Newcastle or Milan, which gave fans the rare spectacle of a match that is tied but both teams absolutely going for it instead of one just trying to hold on for a point. 10 minutes later they forced Milan keeper Mike Maignan into this:
It was made all the more dramatic as Newcastle’s legs were really giving out with all they’ve been through of late with their injury crisis, meaning Milan was getting 3-on-2 and 2-on-1 breaks on the reg.
Meanwhile, Dortmund for no other reason than to just be mischievous, were still going for the win that they didn’t really need and didn’t call off the dogs until the final few minutes. PSG were living on the edge and when Milan took the lead in the 84th minute, it meant that should PSG give up a late winner, they’d be out and Milan would go through. Finally, around injury time, Dortmund went down a gear and they and PSG played out a pretty tame last few minutes while Newcastle never looked like hauling anything back back in the northeast of England. Maybe the PSG executives were able to “get the message” to Dortmund’s, who knows? So PSG through, Milan to the Europa League, Newcastle out on their ass.
All in the span of 90 minutes, PSG went from going through to going out to going through again, Newcastle went from going to Europa League to going through to the knockouts to back to the Europa League to going out of European competition altogether. And Milan went from dead last to going through to ending the night in the Europa League. It is sad that so much of the group hinged on the bullsh*t handball call against Newcastle in Paris, but then again, no one will ever feel sorry for Newcastle again.
And this will all go away next year when the tournament expands to 36 teams and the Swiss Model with no groups, just one large table. Where will this fight take place? The battle for 24th to get into the playoff round? A tussle over eighth place to avoid the playoff round but still not facing elimination altogether? Sure, we’ll get more big-time matches out of it with teams in Pot 1 having to play two other teams in Pot 1, but will that make up for losing this kind of back-and forth? Will we all be too weary from eight opening games instead of six that drags until the end of January instead of mid-December?
As with everything in European soccer, we probably have lost something to cater to the biggest clubs’ voracious appetites. At least we got one last reminder of what we had.
Follow Sam on Twitter @Felsgate and on Bluesky @Felsgate.bsky.social
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